To preface, I'm currently working in a very specific section of retail: a pharmacy. I'm not a pharmacist, but rather a tech -- less responsibility, less (but still a ton of) training, way less pay. We're the nice men and women who help you when you drop off or pick up a prescription, in addition to a lengthy list of other responsibilities. It's not a lifelong profession, it's not my first love, but it pays the bills and is actually quite an interesting and enjoyable job. Because of HIPAA laws, employer policy, and my own desire not to reveal too much about my personal life on my blog, that's the most specific I'm going to get in terms of my job; however, just that much is still necessary to prepare you for the rest of the post.
The following is an amalgamation of my experience as both a retail peon and a voracious consumer.
- Be a considerate shopper. I'm reiterating about half of the Because I Said So list in just one point. Don't run into people, say excuse me, keep your shopping cart towards one side of the aisle so that people can get through. If you're going to stand and compare two brands of air freshener for half an hour, be aware that someone may need to get around you -- and don't get offended if they ask to sneak by you to grab something. You should be the one apologizing.
- I don't care if the person you're having a conversation with is your oldest and dearest long lost friend, don't stand directly in front of products while you're catching up. Move to a wide open aisle, or (gasp) leave Wal-Mart and go somewhere designed for that kind of catching up -- a sit-down restaurant, a park, or your own house for heaven's sake. Offenders of this rule need to be especially careful about it in the frozen foods aisle. I do not want to wait fifteen minutes for my pint of Haagen-Dazs because you won't move your conversation to another locale. True story.
- 'Please,' 'thank you,' and 'excuse me,' as well as 'sir' and 'ma'am,' will get you a long way with both shoppers and retail associates. Example: MrMMO needed a Microsoft Points card, which are locked in the video game case. While he ventured off to find an employee to retrieve said card, I waited with the cart in the video game aisle. A man turned the corner and I asked if I needed to move so he could find what he was looking for. "No, ma'am, I'm just browsing, you're not in my way at all," he replied. It made my day. Another example: Towards the end of a very long shift the other day, a guy about my age addressed me with the phrases 'no, ma'am,' and 'thank you, ma'am' as I checked him out. I smiled and thanked him for being the first person who'd been truly polite to me all day. Some other girls in their 20s think being called 'ma'am' is an insult, that it makes them feel old; I find it to be about as respectful as it gets.
- At most pharmacies, it's perfectly acceptable to bring other items to be checked out at the same time as your prescription. However, if you've got a cartfull of stuff, remember that I have very limited counter space, and that I may only have extra large or extra small bags. Large packages (think family packs of toilet paper) are actually okay with me, because I can just pop the scanner out of its holder and point it at the bar code from a couple feet away, without having to take it out of the cart.
- At the pharmacy specifically, if you're buying things that don't 'go' with your prescriptions, don't be surprised if I raise an eyebrow at you -- i.e. large quantities of Easter candy and insulin, or several different asthma/emphysema prescriptions along with a carton of cigarettes. If it's especially outrageous, the pharmacist is a few feet away and will probably see you do it (and will probably say something about it, too). Remember, the whole point of our job is to help you be healthy, so it's really frustrating to see people do this.
- In the opposite direction, if you go up to a pharmacy counter (or call) with a question about medications, ask to speak to a pharmacist before you spend 5 minutes explaining your question in detail. It's likely that the person at the window or picking up the phone is a tech, and we cannot legally offer any health advice to you or answer any medicine-related questions -- even about products sold over the counter. It's not going to offend us that you want to speak to the head honcho, it's going to save us (and you) time.
- Don't be embarassed to buy 'embarassing things' at a pharmacy. Ever seen this famous scene from The Golden Girls? My job is to ensure the experience ISN'T like that. All that HIPAA training means that our middle name is 'discreet.' There will be no intercom price checks, no phone calls to family members; quite frankly it's actually a relief to see people (of all ages) buying protection -- not buying it doesn't mean they're not having sex, it means they may be having sex and not using protection. The same goes for products like Preparation H, Vagisil, KY, etc. Remember, our job is about helping you feel better, not making you feel bad about yourself.
- Another pharmacy related one. If you've read my earlier post about PSE and DXM-based over the counter medications, you may have guessed this: don't throw a tantrum at the poor retail peon because you have to buy these products at the pharmacy counter and/or show ID and/or can only buy so much at a time. You'd think people would be used to these restrictions since they've been in place a few years now, but that's not always the case. It's the law, and yelling at me isn't going to change anything. Feel free to throw a fit at your congressman, or find some meth addicts and read them the riot act, but I have absolutely nothing to do with the law. I just take your money and tell you to have a nice day, even when you've been a real jerk to me or given me a sob story about how it's the only medicine that works and why should you have to come back another day to buy more.
- If you're going to yell at your kids, please wait until you get home to do it, or at least out to the car. Pretty much all retail peons feel this way, but I'm especially sensitive when it comes to this kind of thing. I've worked for years to keep an anxiety disorder under control without meds, and someone getting yelled at is one of the only things that can really set me off. So help me, if you give me a panic attack from screaming at your kid, once I'm through hyperventilating I will probably give you an earful. It irks me just as much after hours, too. Yesterday MrMMO and I were grocery shopping and I jumped a solid three inches off the ground when some woman started hollering at her kid about asking for candy. She then continued yelling all the way down the aisle, past (and completely oblivious) to us, not bothering to lower her volume, and making my ears ring. Had she not been about triple my size (and, quite frankly, frightening in appearance, as was her husband), I probably would have turned around and told her to shut the heck up.
- Cell phones at the counter actually don't bother me too much, as long as there's a purpose behind them. Lots of customers will call a doctor to check if a script's been called in yet, or double-check the number of prescriptions that the relative they're picking up for is supposed to get. I actually encourage that kind of behavior because it's easier on everyone involved. However, if you're talking about something inane or obnoxious, and doing so loudly, that's going to annoy me -- luckily that doesn't happen too often in my experience. Bluetooths/headsets are another matter entirely. I despise their use anywhere outside of a moving vehicle. A person with a cell phone will instinctively move that phone away from his/her ear when I'm explaining prescriptions or asking questions at the counter. With a Bluetooth, they just continue the conversation, and I have no clue if A) they're actually talking to me or to the person on the other end of the line or B) they're actually paying attention to any of the (usually pretty important) things I just said.
Carton image courtesy of Haagen-Dazs. Sad face courtesy of me.
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